In the Waiting

“The most important part is BETWEEN the dreams, not the dreams themselves… We think waiting is a parenthesis. It is not. God is working, only we can’t see it. Most of us will send eternity thanking God for the prayers He did not answer. Sometimes we rebel during the confusing in-between rather that embrace the waiting period in which we find ourselves. The temptation to flee from God, to quit, to fall into despair is great when it appears God is absent. The good news is then God will find us and meet us.” -Peter Scazzaro

Today was supposed to have been my wedding day. According to my initial plans, I was supposed to have been getting ready for the church at this hour with my groomsmen. Instead, I am sitting here on this rainy day in Los Angeles writing this blog. Since Angel and I were engaged at the beginning of last year our wedding date has been postponed three times already due to the delay in immigration papers. I hope that this would be the last postponement because I wonder if our hearts can endure another…

Instead of wallowing in this place of unknowing, I chose to spend this morning reflecting on the waiting… It is mind boggling to see how my life drastically shifted course over the last year and a half. What if things had gone exactly the way I dreamed on the day I proposed to Angel? I might never have ever ventured out of New York City, I might not have made a home among the Angelinos, I might have not become ordained, I might not have attempted the things I always wanted to achieve before my 30s and never quite had the time or courage to do so. I might not had the chance for a deeper preparation for my role as a husband. The list goes on…

Somewhere between the place where my dreams become a reality, I have come to discover the surprises that lay in store for me along the way. I find myself thanking God for the waiting. The journey has been beyond my wildest imagination. Sometime during the waiting I stopped living in the past and in the future, but rather in the present.

Today, my heart continues to long for my bride’s arrival into the United States of America. The wedding day is still a special dream. While there remains this unsettling feeling, I continue to fight the urge to fall into despair and flee. Instead I choose to be still and wait for God to find me and meet me in the waiting…